November has been a month of reflection on servitude for me. As we're drawing closer to the end of the year, through conversations with brothers/sisters, sermons, and bible reading - everything seemed to point me towards examining my servitude this year.
Motivation
Like many of you out there, I wanted to serve because I found it meaningful in life. I've always wanted to help others in my life, and although I can do so through material means, what ever help or assistance I can provide would be short-lived. What is lasting and eternal, would be to help on a spiritual level, and I can achieve that through serving the Lord.
In other words, I found great self-fulfillment through serving. It felt like I was adding value in life and being productive with my time. And being able to share with/encourage brothers and sisters in Christ that I love and care about in the Lord was something I found so very rewarding. When I feel that I'd helped to make a positive difference and gathered some blessings up there - it makes me feel good about myself.
This had been my attitude towards serving for the longest time - until I heard a sermon on Jan 3rd, 2015 in Irvine (according to my handy dandy notebook). It made me realize that although what I had felt about serving was true, it was very much self-centered and driven by the need for self-fulfillment. And because of that, I always struggled with pride after serving.
God-Centered Servitude
In the past month, conversations with brothers and sisters have reminded me that holy work should be God-centered. We've been told that on the basis of "serve not to impress others but to please God", and that is, I guess, a basic level understanding of what it means. But God-centered servitude means more than that - the next level up of understanding would be "serve not for self, but to be accepted by the Lord".
During our PMVP sharing group, a brother was sharing that his busy week and occupied state of mind had impacted his servitude. He casually followed that up with: "I don't think my servitude was accepted by the Lord." Little did he know that this sentence had a huge impact on me, because I had let serving become somewhat a pattern and was lax in reverence and dedication.
Sometimes we automatically assume that when we serve and complete the act of serving, it is accepted by God. But really, that's not the case (see Gen 4:5, Amos 5:21-24). We can put hours and hours mindlessly into doing countless holy work - but if our heart is not in the right place, our servitude will not be accepted by the Lord. In the end, it's not about how much holy work we do or what we've accomplished, but about how faithful we were and whether He accepts the works of our hands.
A New Mindset in Serving
The effectiveness of holy work should be a by-product of our servitude, rather than the focus.
For we know holy work is effective because of God's Spirit, and not because of our own strength or eloquence. When we are serving, we empty and lower ourselves so God can work through us, not us working through God. One's message or works can be the most inspirational or eloquent, but it's God who opens people's hearts to make a message cut to the heart and stick, not us.
So before serving, the #1 goal of our servitude should be that it is accepted by God, rather than to inspire or move others with our service. While serving, our heart should submissive and actions humble, rather than desiring to demonstrate God's wisdom or power on ourselves - because the Lord gives, and He can take away. Lastly, after serving, we are able to drop/hand everything off to God and turn the page (move on to the next work) - rather than looking backwards and getting stuck on being proud of what we've done. We should withdraw and pray as Jesus did after performing great miracles, so that we will not fall into pride.
Only if we do this, can we be true servants of God and continue to be used by Him. Only with this kind of heart and mindset can we continue walking with Him. May God continue to move & help us grow in our servitude! :)
